This Is Our Life
by Hanzatsu-Hime
Summary: Why is it that you have to experience heartbreak in order to feel love? Well, that seems to Kagome's philosyphy. Actually it is her own mantra, and it gives her the fuel to run as far as she can. But is love not blind? Mayb she has the love she seeks


**__**

This is Our Life…

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I cannot believe it. I cannot believe I still cannot believe it. I felt I was floating in outer space, being able to see everything I have never seen before and admire its beauty. I was the luckiest girl in the world right now, and I wanted everyone else around to know it. Even though I was still shocked in my state of pure bliss, I wanted nothing more then to be able to brag about my brand new way of life; my brand new partner.

  
Yes, it had finally happened. My greatest and most occurring dream and fantasy had come true: Inu Yasha, the world's, no, universe's most amazing hanyou, had asked me to be his mate! I could almost jump for joy yet again as the thought had popped into my head for the hundredth time that day, but I was too relaxed, lying in my freshly planted garden of violets in the backyard of my new hut.

It was beautiful. Inu Yasha had actually built it himself! Well, some villagers and Miroku helped a bit, but he had the idea and had been working on since Kikyo had passed… I have to admit, I did want her to leave us alone, but no one, not even her, deserved a death like that. I do miss her, for Inu Yasha's sake, but I will not let that rain on my parade. The thought is what matters, but the presentation of it is most amazing!

You know, if it were not for that argument I had with him earlier, I probably would have never _ever_ found out about it.

! Flashback !

I stormed off to the well with a frightening angry look on my face that I think even Sesshomaru would've backed off from. '_I cannot **believe** that guy!'_ I yelled in my head, '_He has popped my last nerve! How could he ever assume I would **mate **with Kouga! I mean, do not get me wrong, the guy is pretty good…oh, forget being nice, drop-dead gorgeous, but that doesn't mean I'll just run to him and ask to bare his child! I am **not** one of those girls Miroku is looking for!_

'_I cannot believe him! **I** do not accuse him of **mating **with **Kikyo!** I just let him go to her even though it practically kills me every time…_' As this thought entered my mind, I slowed my pacing down to a stop. I just stood there for what seemed like an hour, just looking at the ground, not a single precise thought in my mind. I stared at my shoes as if suddenly they were the most interesting thing on the planet. I could not seem to move. I could not seem to understand…

'_I don't understand him,_' I thought as I felt tears well up in my eyes yet again because of him and start to spill slowly. I had actually named these my 'Inu pain tears'. I should have just named them my 'Inu tears', but I was still hoping one day, he'd… '_He can go off and hug Kikyo, kiss Kikyo, **make-out **with Kikyo, and I cannot even talk to Kouga without being called a ho! Why, Inu Yasha? **Why** do you hurt me so…?_' With this thought, I fell to my knees. I fell to the ground, held up only by my hands, and cried as if there was no tomorrow. I cried as if I had a river of tears inside my eyes. I cried…as if I had never cried before.

'_This is probably the most and hardest I've ever cried…_' I thought to my self in pain, '_Way to go, Inu Yasha! You hit the jackpot! You did it, you won..._' I could not contain myself anymore; I dropped to the ground crying. I felt betrayal, pain, hurt and misery overcome me as they did every week. I pounded my fist into the ground with all the strength I could muster from my shaken form. "I…HATE **THIS**!" I yelled through a sob to no one in particular. I just needed to do something to get my feelings out…without me turning into him, without hurting anyone.

This was something I normally said in my head. This was something I feel almost everyday. I really felt like I was going to break down, if I had not already. I felt my body shake violently with every sob, every breath, every tear I shed. I needed to get up, run home, jump into my mother's arms, and she would tell me how everything would be alright. Or I could drown my sorrows in a milkshake with my friends. Or study too much to forget about my troubles. All in all, I needed to get home.

However, I still could not move. After having a good cry for a few minutes now, I still could not seem to move. Every time I tried to get up, I would just fall down a millisecond later. I could not move…I was paralyzed to the spot! All because of him…him, and his words. The tears seemed to increase at the thought and my sobs became louder. I groaned as well as I could at the moment. I just wanted to go home and soak my pillow through and through, not the ground. I just wanted to be in the time I belong in, the time where I love and am lov-

Suddenly, something grabbed me and picked me up. A wave of panicked washed over me and flooded my senses. I was now instantly able to stop crying and froze in fear. I tried to regain my composure, but to no avail. I was freaking out! I could not call for Inu Yasha because I would have to deal with him afterwards, and he was probably still mad at me. I could not call for Kouga; he was too far away, and that would only result in an upset Inu Yasha and a hurt me. I could, however, call for Sango!

"SANG--hmph!" I tried to yell, but my captor placed a hand over my mouth. It was then when I knew who it was. The familiar smell and the feeling of the skin of the hand…I knew right away as my heart sank deeper and deeper; Inu Yasha. I felt my eyes begin to refill with tears in pain and fear. I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was in vain. He only held me tighter as he placed me in his lap. I felt him tuck a piece of stray hair behind my ear and whisper to me, "Shh, calm down Kagome. You know I won't hurt you."

Ha! I laughed nervously at the thought, but stopped fussing for him. I tilted my head down so he could not see my eyes or tears and I tried to keep my sobbing to a minimum. He then started to rub my back for me and asked me quietly, "Are you okay?" The quiet jester of kindness and remorse shocked me greatly, but I welcomed it. I still did not want to talk to him though, so I just shrugged my shoulders. As if not accepting the answer, he moved his hand from my back, to my shoulder and started to massage me. I let out a little yelp and then a smaller moan. Even though I was upset, it felt _really_ good.

  
Inu Yasha took that as a sign, brought his other hand to my other shoulder, and followed the other hand's motion, making me moan a bit louder then before. As he did this, he placed his chin on my head and looked out at the nature around us. I did not move, however. I was still upset, no matter what he was doing. "Kagome," he whispered in a husky voice, "are you crying because of me?" I felt a knife stab my heart. How could he not realize that? Of course it was because of him! He did not realize his words had deepened an everlasting scar in my heart.

I let a small tear escape my right eye. I felt a small breeze against my bangs and Inu Yasha turned me around instantly to face him. I tried to avoid any eye contact, but he placed his clawed hand under my chin and lifted my head up gradually. I had no choice but to look into his eyes and what I found shocked me. The golden amber eyes the belonged to my heart's desire showed caring, pain and worry all at once and what was shocking was it was all directed at me.

I watched his eyes travel to my cheek and his eyes open a bit slightly. He then lifted his thumb from under my chin and whipped away the small tear cascading slowly down my face. Once it was gone, Inu Yasha moved his eyes back to mine and asked me again, "Was that because of me?" I looked into his intensely emotion filled eyes and could not turn away. I just nodded to his question.

Inu Yasha allowed a small smile appear on his smug face. I looked at him and shock was clearly visible in my eyes. He then pulled me into a tight embrace but I did not return it. He was smiling! He was smiling at my pain and tears. I could not, would not, allow myself to ever come close to him again. My heart would not be able to take anymore. I struggled to get away from him, but he just tightened his demonic embrace and whispered, "I'm so glad you cried because of me."

At that, my heart stopped. I could hear a heart monitor echoing in my ear with the sound of a dead beat. So, he liked it when I cried? So be it. I had to cry now, so I just let it out. I cried into his shoulder, not wanting him for comfort, but just because he was there. He then ran his hands through my hair and I just sat there and let him. I did not care right now. He could kill me and I would not care. At least it would destroy my eternal pain…

  
"O-okay," I whispered lightly as I started to pull back from him, now facing him again, "I get it, sniff, sniff now can you please-…" "Do you know why I yell at you whenever I see you with Kouga?" The question, to me, came unexpectedly. I sniffed again, as I slowly shook my head 'no'. His smile almost disappeared, understanding in his eyes, but he wanted to show he was happy. "Because, my sweet and dear Kagome," his smile widened again at the sight of my shock. I'm…what? My eyes grew wider as I watched him bring his face closer to mine. Our lips were inches apart and his eyes looked restless, "Because I don't want to lose you to a mangy wolf. I never want you to leave me. Not for him, or anyone. I want you with me. Kagome, I love you."

And with his declaration complete, he kissed me hard on the lips. I blinked in shock, but as my eyes were about to re-open, I decided against it. I did not kiss back, but I allowed him to have his way. He untangled his fingers from my hair and held my head in his palm, lightly adding a bit of pressure to make it seem like I was responding. His other hand, around my waist, brought my body closer to him, making us feel like one.

Inu Yasha kissed me so…hungrily, as if there was no tomorrow, as if he would never get this chance again. I decided then to respond. I heard his confession and it was what I always wanted to hear from him, so, I let me. I let my pain and sadness escape my mind and kissed back just as hard. I slipped both my arms around his neck and allowed one to hold his head and the other to hang loosely. We sat there for what we both guessed as hours until we needed to breathe. Inu Yasha rested his head on my shoulder as he panted lightly. "Wow!" was all he could say, and I was satisfied with it.

A few more moments of that, and he lowered his lips to my neck, making small butterfly mark. "So, do you understand now?" he huffed out during his little torture treatment, "I never meant to hurt you, I just was afraid I'd lose you. You can understand that, can't you?" He stopped and looked me in the eyes. His desperate plea was obviously sincere since you could see worry and fear in the back of his loving eyes. I let out my first smile of the day and nodded. Inu Yasha smiled back, but it was a different smile then mine.

"What? I declare my love for you and all you can do is nod? Tell me you love me…or else!" A hint of playfulness in his voice proved he would not do anything rational, or so I thought…until I felt something move against my hip. I yelped and jumped in his lap as he began to tickle me. I tried to control myself, but I burst out into laughter a few moments later. "Okay, **okay**! giggle, laugh, choke, giggle I'll tell chuckle you, just laugh **stop!**" I pleaded through tears. Finally, my 'Inu happy tears'.

"Not until you tell me you love me!" Inu Yasha chuckled at my state. Oh, so he was having fun, was he? Well, two can play at that game. I stopped swatting at his hands and reached up for his ears. I started tickling the base and tip of his dog-like ears and that was it. Inu Yasha yelped like a puppy and was laughing his head off. He ended up falling over, trying to escape me, and rolling through the bushes. Unfortunately, he would not let me go and we rolled all the way through the bushes and into a small field. However, he still would not let go. We stopped rolling and he ended up on top of me. And although he was in a fit of giggles, he still would not let me go. I had no choice but to say, "Okay, **alright! **Inu laugh Yasha, I chuckle love you, giggle too!"

Inu Yasha, with a happy grin, finally let me go. I decided it was only fair, and I let go of his ears, although I did not want to. We huffed a little as we lay there, in complete bliss. I turned my head a bit to see where we were and noticed a beautiful flower beside me. '_Wow! Violets bloom beautifully._' After I had caught my breath, I looked back into my soul mate's sun colored eyes and could not help but drown in them.

"Inu Yasha," I whispered out, trying not to brake the moment, "you're still on top of me." "I know." He replied with a devilish grin on his face. I answered with a blissful smile back. We stared into each other's eyes for a while. The wind blew lightly through our hair and the sun was high above, showing we had enough time to stay here. As the wind blew once more, a few petals flew around us, as if a sign of some sort. They formed a circle around us and as the wind subsided, the petals landed softly across the meadow.

"You know," Inu Yasha began as he slid off me to the side, "you are incredibly beautiful." I smiled at him with glee. "Thanks! It means a lot to me to hear you say that." I cuddled closer to his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm glad." We sat there for a few silent minutes before Inu Yasha gasped. I looked up at him in worry. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot the whole other reason I came after you. I wanted to show you something. Here, quickly, get on." Inu Yasha jumped up swiftly and reached his hand out to me. I grabbed it quickly and he pulled me onto his back. He dashed off at top speed to a foreign destination I was unaware of. He headed in a direction of the forest I had never been in, and I have to admit, I was a bit frightened. But I trusted Inu Yasha with all my heart and I would never question that. He told me he loves me, I told him the same, which proved we both trusted and cared for each other and I was completely pleased with this.

As I finished my thought, Inu Yasha turned to me and called, "You gotta close your eyes now, 'kay?" I looked at him confused. "Why?" I asked. He just smiled mischievously and replied saying, "It's a surprise. So, do it." "Oh, alright." I did as I was told and shut my eyes tight. I had now forgotten my fear and replaced it with excitement. I could not help but smile as I felt the wind flow through my hair roughly, knowing I would get to see my surprise very soon. I was tempted to peek, but I decided against it since I don't get surprises from Inu Yasha very often…unless you count his little confession from earlier.

I felt Inu Yasha come to a stop and I could not help but let out a small giggle. I could not remember the last time I was this excited in my life! I felt my body slip off his back. He grabbed my hand and led me seven steps until he let my hand go and place his hands over my eyes. From the speed of his movements, I could tell he was as excited as me, maybe more. I giggled at the thought. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, giggling…

"Okay," Inu Yasha whispered in my ear. His hot breath roamed over my neck, which sent a tingle of pleasure down my spine and made me shiver. He noticed this and grunted at my motion but continued with his speech, "Kagome, I have loved you for a long time now. I never told you because I was afraid you would not feel the same and because of Kikyo. I did not want to get involved with you until Kikyo was at peace because I did not want the events that normally occur when Kikyo is around to be too much for you. I knew that I told you I loved you and then you saw me with Kikyo, you would hate me forever and you would take out your suffering on yourself, because that's the way you are. You would rather you suffer then anyone around you feel bad, and that's another thing I love about you.

"Or you could have ended up sealing the well, and I know for one-hundred percent I would not be able to handle that. Even the very thought of it sends a moment of fear and pain into my mind and heart. That is why I waited until Kikyo was dead. I know it was a long and painful time, but it would have been even more painful for you if anything was different. I tried my best to save you any pain, but that was the best I could do. I know it was not good enough, but it was my best. That is why I could never look you in the eyes after I saw Kikyo. I knew I would only see pain in those beautiful eyes of yours and that is enough to send me over the edge. I knew if I looked into your pained and hurt-filled eyes, my demonic side would probably kill me for it later. I did my best to protect you from that kind of pain, and I think I failed…

"That is why I made you this surprise. I made this for you to show you I am truly sorry for making you feel that way and I hope that somehow, someday you can forgive me. Kagome Higurashi, I present to you your surprise." Inu Yasha dropped his hands from my eyes. I quickly opened them to gaze upon his wonderful secret. It was as if the moment was in slow motion and then froze. I felt my eyes open, and my mouth run dry. I was speechless. In front of me was the first ever mahogany-wood well-built two-story hut! I gasped when I final grabbed enough composure to do anything. I slowly walked towards it as if my feet were filled with concrete. My eyes were star-filled with fresh tears.

I was three steps ahead of Inu Yasha when he finally spoke. "S-so, do you…do you…like it?" I could tell he was nervous and afraid by the way he stuttered. I turned around to him instantly and was ready to scream. "Are you crazy? Of **course, **I love it! What girl would not? Inu Yasha, did you…make this for me all by yourself?" "Well, the villagers helped every so often, and Miroku helped maybe once or twice. However, I designed it and did most of the hard labor. Bunch o' lazy…" Inu Yasha did not get to continue his insult because I ran back to him and hugged him as if he was my only lifeline. Inu Yasha was frozen solid for a moment, then returned the embrace. "I'm glad you like it Ka'." My heart skipped a beat at the gesture. '_Ka'…_' I thought to my self. It has a kind of ring to it!

Inu Yasha then lifted me away from him and asked with a smirk, "You wanna go see inside?" I nodded furiously. "'Course, my Inu." I watched as his smile widened and mine just did the same. He then picked me up bridal style and gave me a tour of **our** new home.

! End of Flashback !

And that is how it happened. That night he claimed me as his and I could never forget it. It was also the same night I truly felt we would be together. I love rubbing my fingertips over the small fang marks at side of my neck. Most people would probably hate that, but the feeling always makes my heart do a back flip. It also always made me smile. I would not trade that night we had for anything in the world, not even the whole Shikon Jewel. Inu Yasha might…but I highly doubt that.

"Hey Ka'! Whatcha doin'?"

"Hi Inu. I am just enjoying the beauty of my _finally_ planted garden. How'd you do on your hunt?"

"I did okay, but I wish you could've come." Inu Yasha purred as he sat down next to me. He nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck, the same side with the mark. I rubbed the back of his ears for a moment, then we sat together and watched the sunset. I felt in complete bliss now. Ever since that night, nothing seemed to go wrong for me. We always called each other by our nicknames and we always smiled. He seemed to be worth all the pain.

I looked over at him and noticed he was not watching the sunset, he was watching me. "What are you doing?" I questioned his behavior. "I'm watching the beautiful view." He replied with an innocent grin on his face. I elbowed him in the ribs as I chuckled a bit. Not giggled, chuckled. "Oh, stop." I whispered playfully as I leaned my head on his shoulder. Now we really were both looking out at the sunset.

"Inu," I whispered as quietly as possible, trying to keep the peace of the moment. Inu Yasha used his left hand to turn my chin upward to look at him. "Ya, Ka'?" he asked. "Would you trade this for anything? Would you trade us if you could get the whole Shikon Jewel?" I just asked to reassure myself. He seemed surprised by my question and his face went blank except for his eyes. His grin returned just as fast as it disappeared. In one quick motion, he lifted me up into his lap, dipped me as if we were ballroom dancing and kissed me with such love and passion, I did not need an answer. I just returned the kiss to show I believed him. I showed him just as much love and passion; we were lost in a sea of happiness.

Once we let go, Inu Yasha lazily opened his eyes and they were glazed over with bliss. No hidden emotions. No other feelings. Just…bliss. My favourite look for him. "Now," he huffed, "just so you never ask me again…" He trailed off as he lifted his hand into the air and flexed his claws. I realized what he had planned but had no time to plea as he made contact with my hip. Once again, a tickle war broke out.

And that is our life. It is how we live, it is who we are. Sango, Miroku, Kirara and Shippo are still part of our lives, but we love spending a lot of time together. I still go home, but only if Inu gets to come with me. Well, it is okay since my whole family adores him. I just got to keep him away from Hojo or who knows **what** will happen, although I do have a pretty good idea…but I probably shouldn't think things like that. One way or another, we always find a way through. I know, however, this life can't last forever, but one can dream. All I know right now is I love my Inu Yasha and he loves me…and we are together forever.

-

Konnichiwa! P-Chan Lova026 here! Hope you all enjoyed that!  
So, let me know if you did or not.  
If you did, here are a few other titles to check out:

#1.) Surprises Unknown  
#2.) Save Tonight  
#3.) Love Locked and Kept (sequel to Surprises Unknown)

Let me know, 'kay?  
C ya! Ja ne! -


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